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  • Valerie Keating

Response Reframe

You can imagine that, as a therapist, my opinion about how to respond to situations is frequently sought. On a daily basis, my clients ask me how I think they should handle their children, spouses, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, neighbors, etc. They wonder what they should say, how they should say it, and whether they’re being “appropriate” or “right”.  Instead of delivering proclamations that may reflect more judgment than wisdom, I usually respond by presenting another question; “who do you want to be?” I know this can be annoying but I am being totally genuine when I pose this inquiry.   Although some choices may be more appropriate than others, there are no absolute, “right” answers in life that always guarantee success or a positive outcome. So then what will help you determine what to do or say in ANY situation?  The key is to learn about yourself and figure out how to be true to the qualities that make you … well, you.

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